The Sin Of Unforgiveness In The Church

The sin of Unforgiveness in the church is like a sickness that slithers through the congregation, leading to withering in attendance, love, compassion, and spiritual vitality within the body of Christ.

When we hold unforgiveness against a fellow believer, we side with Satan, not God.

The Bible is clear in its message of forgiveness. 

We are all born sinners, and God is holy, so when we become a Christian, we put off our sinful nature so we can put on the spiritual nature God has provided. 

Our sinful nature came from Adam. But our righteousness is provided by the Son of God.

Simply put—when Adam sinned against God, we who were born from him (the whole human race) remain in that sin. It is our human nature—flesh and blood.

When Christ came, He brought a new nature—a spiritual nature. We who are (re) born live in that spiritual nature given to us from God through Christ.

For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins. Colossians 1:13-14 (NIV)

God forgives all the sins in our past, present, and future. We are no longer sinners (from Adam) but saints (through Christ).

To those sanctified in Christ Jesus, called to be saints together with all those who in every place call upon the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, both their Lord and ours. 1 Corinthians 1:2

When the Word of God talks about unforgiveness as a sin, it’s not sin that will keep us out of heaven if we have been reborn; but it does build a wall between us and the Father.

Unforgiveness is devilish, the opposite of God’s way.

If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us. 1 John 1:8-10

This post may contain affiliate links. Read the full disclosure here.

3 Spiritual Effects of Unforgiveness

Offerings and Tithes are Rejected

As important as tithing and offerings are to the church, God does not want us to give anything if we have unforgiveness towards another believer.

So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. Matthew 5:23-24

Unworthy to Participate in Communion

Jesus instructed us to take the Lord’s Supper (Communion) often unless we harbor unforgiveness against someone.

Whoever, therefore, eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty concerning the body and blood of the Lord. 1 Corinthians 11:27

Our Prayers are Powerless

Mark tells us that our prayers are powerless if we hold unforgiveness towards someone else.

And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. Mark 11:25-26

Forgiveness is the best gift God offered to us. We had absolutely no way to save ourselves until God provided the way by offering forgiveness.

The Unforgiving Servant

Jesus illustrated God’s forgiveness towards us in His parable of the unforgiving servant found in Matthew 18:23-35.

A king went to settle his accounts with his servants. He discovered that one man owed him ten years’ wages! Knowing the man would not be able to pay, he ordered that the man be sold into slavery and his wife and children be sold, as well as everything he owned.

The servant fell on his knees and pleaded with the king, “Please, master, have patience with me and I will pay everything I owe you!”

The king knew that he would never be able to pay him back, but the king had mercy on the man, forgave the debt, and set the man free.

Rushing out the door, the servant was jubilant! But then he ran into a fellow servant who owed him three months’ pay.

The first servant grabbed the fellow servant by the neck and demanded that he pay him his money immediately!

 The fellow servant fell on his knees and pleaded with the first servant, “Please! Have patience with me and I will pay you all that I owe.”

But he refused to accept the terms and had the man put into debtors’ prison until he paid back all he owed.

The other servants witnessing this distressing event went and reported it to the master of that servant.

The king summoned the servant who had been forgiven and said, “You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should you not have had mercy on your fellow servant the same way I had mercy on you?”

The angry king threw his servant into debtors’ prison until he could pay off the debt.

And then Jesus finished the parable with this;

“So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from the heart.“

Jesus always deals with our hearts.

Symptoms of Unforgiveness

Most of the time, you know when you have been offended by someone. But sometimes, the offense comes subtly without much notice: a misspoken word, a misunderstood glance, or a mistaken sigh or laugh.

So, sometimes we could be holding unforgiveness without realizing it. And that unforgiveness may even begin a root of bitterness in your heart that you may not even be aware of. Look at the following list and consider if you are displaying any of these symptoms of unforgiveness.

• Quickly angered
• Cynical or mocking
• Feelings of bitterness
• Depressed or anxious
• Often rehash an offense
• Blame others
• Feelings of entitlement
• Hating yourself or others
• No vision for your life

Unforgiveness is a tricky sin. When we harbor it, it becomes like cancer. It begins as protection against someone (so we think), but then left to itself, it grows into anger, hatred, bitterness and could grow from there.

Unforgiveness is the root of murder.

In his book, The Fruit of Unforgiveness, Dr. Chibueze Ukaegbu, lists ten episodes in the Bible where an unforgiving spirit brought devastation to the lives of the people involved.

He also deals with the problem of unforgiveness in marriage, stating, “The spirit that fails to forgive in marriage and the family has been a great source of great pain to many homes.”

He beautifully explains the relationship between the bride and groom. Please check out his book; it’s available on Kindle and paperback. 

The Fruit of Unforgiveness

The feelings listed above are harmful, not only to the one who offended you but also to those close to you and, most importantly, to yourself.

The Consequences of Unforgiveness

• Devalues God’s forgiveness
• Hinders prayers
• Becomes a lifestyle

The symptoms of unforgiveness may spotlight the root problem if we consider what those feelings stem from. 

But what happens when we don’t deal with unforgiveness? Can it grow into something more dangerous than bad feelings towards someone?

Unforgiveness Devalues God’s Forgiveness

God’s greatest attribute is forgiveness. And being children of the living God, we must mirror that gift, or else it devalues God’s forgiveness for us.

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:31-32

Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Colossians 3:13

Unforgiveness Hinders Our Prayers

Unforgiveness puts a bearer up between us and everyone else. When we don’t obey the command to forgive, we allow sin to lay between us and Father God.

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. 1 Peter 3:7

If one turns away his ear from hearing the law, even his prayer is an abomination. Proverbs 28:9

Unforgiveness Becomes a Lifestyle

Because unforgiveness is an underlying sin, it can grow to produce ugliness in the person who refuses to forgive. Instead of producing the fruit of the Spirit, which reveals the presence of Christ: (Galatians 5:22-23)

• Love
• Joy                                        
• Peace
• Patience
• Kindness
• Goodness
• Faithfulness
• Gentleness
• Self-control

We find other fruit growing in our spirit that may create a bitter root:

• Hate
• Grief
• Annoyance
• Envy
• Evil
• Treachery
• Violence
• Self-destruction

Everyone who makes a practice of sinning also practices lawlessness; sin is lawlessness. 1 John 3:4

How to Practice Forgiveness

In a church setting, many moving parts just happen, and most of the time, we don’t take notice. But one thing I know Satan has a plan to destroy the local church.

Prayer is our lifeline to a healthy relationship with our heavenly Father and a healthy practice for our Christian life. If Satan can get church members to criticize, grumble, and complain, he can shut down the power of prayer.

As Christians, forgiveness must be offered quickly before it gets rooted in our hearts.

Forgiveness begins with P.R.A.I.S.E.

The acronym P.R.A.I.S.E. sums up the core of forgiveness and underscores that it all starts with prayer.

Here’s the acrostic P.R.A.I.S.E. for practicing forgiveness.

PRAY– everything starts with prayer.

RELEASE your hurt feelings

ACCEPT that you cannot change the circumstances

IGNORE expectations; don’t wait for an apology

STAND on God’s principle of forgiveness (He forgives, we should forgive)

EMPATHIZE– consider where they are coming from (most people are struggling with something)

Incorporating these principles into our lives not only strengthens our relationship with God but also paves the way for emotional healing, reconciliation, and a more peaceful and forgiving heart.

10 Bible Verses about Forgiveness

Paul encouraged the early believers to think about true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, and commendable things. In other words, take control of our thoughts and don’t allow them to run amuck. He also made it clear that we would have to work at this when he told the Colossians to “put on” holiness. Forgiveness is something we can practice and get better at doing.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4:8-9 (ESV)

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Colossians 3:12-13 (ESV)

I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,” and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. Psalm 32:5 (ESV)

For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. Matthew 6:14 (ESV)

Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” Romans 12:17-19 (ESV)

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:31-32 (ESV)

Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times. Matthew 18:21-22 (ESV)

Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. 1 Peter 3:9 (ESV)

Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him. Luke 17:3-4 (ESV)

Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense. Proverbs 19:11 (ESV)

In conclusion, we see how our own sins can cause great destruction in the kingdom of heaven. The church is the body of Christ, and unforgiveness is like a poison that can harm the church’s close bonds and relationships.

God’s Word is clear about the importance of forgiveness and the grace of God, which is the only way to break free from the negative emotions and consequences of unforgiveness. It’s not just about our personal lives; it’s a spiritual matter that can lead to renewal and a deep relationship with God.

Through daily prayer and following God’s ways, we can experience complete forgiveness and open doors to a better life, leaving behind hurtful words and negative feelings. Let’s embrace God’s message of love and grace, choosing forgiveness as a central part of our lives in this sinful world.

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2 (ESV)

---

Related: Sorry, Not Sorry, You Hurt My Heart